


Fan Mail

by evilmouse



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends: Jedi Academy Trilogy - Kevin J. Anderson
Genre: Challenges, Crazy Acronyms, Cute, Epistolary, Fan Characters, Fluff and Crack, Fun, Gen, Gossip, Hobbies, HoloNet, Hostage Situations, Interviews, Jedi, Jedi Code (Star Wars), Jedi Luke Skywalker, Kidnapping, New Republic Bureaucracy, New Republic Security Forces, Official Luke Skywalker Fan Club, Press and Tabloids, References to Other Fic I've Written, Ridiculous, Rumors, Scandal, Tanaab, The Force, popular media in a galaxy far far away
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-24
Updated: 2019-08-24
Packaged: 2020-09-25 04:06:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20370409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/evilmouse/pseuds/evilmouse
Summary: Jedi Master Luke Skywalker answers some questions for his fan club.  What could possibly go wrong?





	Fan Mail

Dear Mr. Jedi Master Luke Skywalker,

Greetings. My name is D’tan Siro. I am the president of the Luke Skywalker Galactic Fan Club. How are you?

I know you are very busy building the Jedi Academy and recruiting new Jedi to train with you (I hope you will come to my planet Tanaab sometime to see if there are any potential Jedi here! There used to be lots.) and doing things with your sister Princess Leia and helping the New Republic. My friends said there was no way you would ever write back because you are so busy, but I’m going to trust in the Force, like you do, and hope that you can answer some questions for our fan club newsletter. It has a circulation of 98 million beings and we even have subscribers from as far away as Rago!

I know you do interviews for the HoloNews sometimes and I usually get photos and things to include in our newsletter from there or the HoloNet, but also if you could send some pictures back with your answers, that would be amazing. Thank you Jedi Master. 

So here are my questions. Thank you in advance for helping answer them. They were all asked by your fans and I ranked the most popular questions because I know you don’t have time for a lot. Eight is a lucky number on my planet so I am asking you our top eight questions. If the Force is with us, you will answer! Thank you!

1\. Can Jedis have lifemates and get lifebonded and have kids? Do you have a love interest (like a girlfriend or lifemate)? This question has a few parts. If you do, could you tell us about them? If you don’t, can you tell us why not please?  
2\. Do you have any hobbies?  
3\. Who is your best friend?  
4\. What is your favorite food, holofilm, and music? (I know this is three questions in one but I thought maybe since they were all short I could combine—if it’s too many just answer one please)  
5\. What do you like to do on your days off?  
6\. Do you ever wear normal clothes and if so what kind of normal clothes do you like to wear (not Jedi robes?)? And do you wear pajamas?  
7\. Does anything make you mad or annoyed?  
8\. How can people get your autograph?

That’s it! I hope it’s not too many. And of course if you have a message for your 98 million fans who are card carrying members of your galactic fan club, I will be happy to deliver it! Also if you ever need anything I can help! And if you come to Tanaab you can stay at my house (my parents said it was all right) and I can show you where the Jedi Chapter House is. 

Have a great day. On behalf of all your fans, thank you for being so awesome! We love you.

May the Force Be With You,  
D’tan Siro  
President (elected)  
Luke Skywalker Galactic Fan Club  
Tanaab Headquarters (1,861 chapters)

~~

Dear Ms. Siro,

I hope you are well. My name is Geoja Pruss, and I handle Master Skywalker’s media engagement at New Republic headquarters on Coruscant. Your letter was forwarded to my attention at our interagency Galactic Executive Liaison Service (GELS), and I have passed it along to Master Skywalker. 

He informed me that he will respond to you personally as soon as his schedule permits, but asked that in the meantime I take steps to ensure that your fan club is treated as an official holomedia outlet. This will allow me to send you all New Republic news related to Master Skywalker, including his public appearances, as well as recent holos that you may use in your newsletter. 

To complete the registration process please ask your legal guardian to help you fill out the documents on the attached datacard and return them to my attention at the enclosed address.

Best regards,  
Geoja Pruss  
Chief Jedi Liaison, GELS

~~

Dear Chief Jedi Liaison Pruss,

Thank you so much for your letter! I was so excited to hear that Master Skywalker has received our fan club’s questions and will respond personally! I put a notice on our HoloNet board letting all our members know and everyone can’t wait. Also thank you for the holos of Master Skywalker on the datacard—I used them in the latest issue of our newsletter—I hope that was all right.

Please see attached the datacard with all the forms filled out as instructed. My parents also said they were very impressed at how official everything was and my dad said I should see if I can get permission for our Luke Skywalker Galactic Fan Club to change its name to“The Official Luke Skywalker Fan Club.” Do you think we can do that? I think he has other fan clubs but I am sure we are the best! Anyway, if there are more documents to fill out we can do that too, to make it more official.

Also do you think maybe I could interview you sometime about working with Luke Skywalker and what that is like, how you got your job, how you prepared and trained for it? Are you a Jedi? I think our members would be really interested to know. Thank you so much for your help. I am checking my mail every day for Master Skywalker’s response.

May the Force Be With You,  
D’tan Siro  
President (elected)  
Luke Skywalker Galactic Fan Club  
Tanaab Headquarters (1,861 chapters)

~~

Dear Ms. Siro,

Thank you for returning the datacard. I trust you have already begun to receive the announcements and content that we release to the HoloNews and media through GELS headquarters. If for some reason you have not yet received an update (the latest included information about Master Skywalker’s trip to Balmorra for their Liberation Day commemoration), please let me know.

I have inquired as to whether or not you can change your name, and GELS recommends that, as you are now registered, you may call your organization “An Official Luke Skywalker Fan Club” but not “The Official Luke Skywalker Fan Club,” as other fan clubs may register in the future and thus also be considered official. I hope that is clear.

Regarding your questions:

I am not a Jedi and not Force-sensitive. I am trained in media relations and public affairs, and I have a degree from Theed University in Interplanetary Relations with an emphasis on cross-cultural holodiplomacy.

I applied for my job after the establishment of the New Republic and went through the standard government screening and hiring process before starting in my position two years ago.

It is wonderful to work with Master Skywalker. His media comprises only one of my portfolios but it is the busiest and the most fun. But I’m sure you knew that already, since you are the president of a fan club.

I hope your members find this information interesting. I will remind Master Skywalker that you are waiting for his responses.

All the best,  
Geoja Pruss  
Chief Jedi Liaison, GELS

~~

Dear Chief Jedi Liaison Pruss,

Thank you so much for your letter and for signing the An Official Luke Skywalker Fan Club up to receive all this great information ! Our members are so happy with the better updates and holos I can send out, and everyone was excited to read about how working for Master Skywalker is wonderful and super impressed with your education and training. I would like to go to Theed University too someday and have a job like you. I bet the Naboo campus was lovely!

Please don’t worry about reminding Master Skywalker about our questions—we know he was busy this month with the Battle of Yavin memorial (his speech made me cry and he looked so handsome!) and enrolling two new students to his Jedi Academy! We don’t want to bother him.

May the Force Be With You,  
D’tan Siro  
President (elected)  
An Official Luke Skywalker Fan Club  
Tanaab Headquarters (1,861 chapters)

~~

Dear D’tan,

Hi! Thank you for your letter. I heard from Geoja that you are doing a great job updating everyone about what’s keeping me busy. Sorry it took a while to get back to you. Here are my responses to your members’ top questions. 

_1\. Can Jedis have lifemates and get lifebonded and have kids? Do you have a love interest (like a girlfriend or lifemate)? This question has a few parts. If you do, could you tell us about them? If you don’t, can you tell us why not please?_

A Jedi has to accept the will of the Force, not fight it, and in this way find balance. The Jedi Code didn’t explicitly forbid attachments, although that is often how it has been interpreted. Before the early Manderon Period, our code looked a bit different: 

Emotion, yet peace.  
Ignorance, yet knowledge.  
Passion, yet serenity.  
Chaos, yet harmony.  
Death, yet the Force. 

I’m thinking about teaching this version of the code in the future, because it’s more accepting of real life. It presents the same concepts as the newer Jedi Code, but as part of a natural coexistence, instead of rejecting things like emotion and passion outright (which exist whether you want them to or not!). 

So that was a long way to say, yes, in the New Jedi Order we can have lifemates and get lifebonded and have children and families.

I don’t currently have a partner, and I don’t know why! If it’s the will of the Force, I’ll find the right person.

_2\. Do you have any hobbies?_

Lots of them! But no time, most days. I like flying, reading, doing mechanical stuff like working on my ship, meditating (I usually make time for that one), and sparring practice with my lightsaber. I also like cooking, although some people think I’m not very good at it!

_3\. Who is your best friend?_

That’s a difficult question. I have more than one best friend. The one I spend the most time with is my astromech, Artoo. He’s been with me since before the Battle of Yavin and I’d be lost without him. But my sister and her husband’s family are also best friends—including Chewbacca and Threepio—and my niece and nephews. And then I would have to say my pilot buddies from back in the days of the Rebellion are all among my closest friends. So there are quite a few. Thanks for asking though—it’s really made me feel lucky to think about how many wonderful friends I have.

_4\. What is your favorite food, holofilm, and music? _

Food: My favorite overall cuisine to eat is Bilarian but I love anything with lots of vegetables. I also like soup a lot, maybe because I never had it when I was a kid. Growing up on Tatooine, I didn’t have a lot of variety in my diet, so anything different is good. Still, my aunt was a great cook and anything she made (especially baked!) was delicious. You didn’t ask about my favorite drink, but I also really like hot chocolate. 

Holo: I don’t really like holos so much, so I don’t have a favorite but I tend to prefer Old Republic era holos to NR ones. Why don’t your members recommend a good one for me to watch?

Music: I like to sing sparkle-bop when no one is listening!

_5\. What do you like to do on your days off?_

Sleep late. Visit family and friends. Soak in the Academy hot springs. Some of those hobbies I mentioned above, too!

_6\. Do you ever wear normal clothes and if so what kind of normal clothes do you like to wear (not Jedi robes?) And do you wear pajamas?_

I do like ‘normal clothes’ and I wear them when I’m not carrying out official duties! Nothing fancy, comfortable pants and a light shirt are good. I also like ponchos but I don’t wear them a lot…they are sort of cozy though, aren’t they?

I sometimes wear pajamas but I don’t usually pack them to travel—better to fly light and save space for souvenirs.

_7\. Does anything make you mad or annoyed?_

Lots of things, but I try to control my temper and channel it into something productive. I get angry at injustice and slavery, corruption, cruelty to all beings, abuse of power, those sort of big issues that everyone gets mad about. As for more of a low-level annoyance, I really don’t like distracted/bad speeder drivers.

_8\. How can people get your autograph?_

That’s a great question and I don’t think there’s any single way for people to get my autograph without meeting me in person and just asking. They can always ask and I’m happy to sign. Of course these days a lot of people just want holos instead.

Thanks for the fun interview, D’tan, and for the invitation to visit you on Tanaab. I definitely will let you know if I have an opportunity to drop by—the Jedi Chapter House sounds very interesting, and I would like to meet you too.

I do have a message for your members—thank you all for taking an interest in me and my work. And may the Force be with each of you.

Love,  
Luke

~~

Dear Ms. D’tan Siro,

I represent _SpaceStars Today_ on the HoloNet News channel. We would like to ask permission to use excerpts from your newsletter interview with Jedi Master Luke Skywalker on our program. We will compensate you with 300 credits per question, for a total of 2,400 credits. In addition, our head producer would like to gift you an authentic replica Skywalker Saber, valued at 600 credits. Please respond as soon as possible and have your parent or legal guardian authenticate your signature on the attached flimsy.

Sincerely,  
Bili Ulun  
Associate Producer  
_SpaceStars Today_

~~

Luke:

I presume you have seen the HoloNews? The galaxy is up in arms about the interview with your fan club. 

What in the Force were you thinking?! Announcing you’re planning to change the Jedi Code to a bunch of teenagers instead of discussing with the New Republic administration—even giving them a heads up? Everyone is scrambling to figure out how to address this shock reveal and determine how it’s going to affect ongoing fundraising efforts for the Academy.

The Droids for Equality non-profit is using your “best friend" answer as a rallying cry for legal reform, and there’s a “Free Artoo" movement that’s started in the Arkana sector. Two Rebellion Legendary holofilms that are in production are threatening to reduce royalties due to your lack of support. The Cross-Universe Chefs Conglomerate is angry you picked a non-member world for your favorite food, and the Galactic Parental Standards (GPS) people are also complaining that you implied you sleep naked to a bunch of kids. 

The only people who aren’t upset (besides your fan club, of course) are the Bilarians, Safe Speeder Operators Association (SSOA), the Hot Spring Resort Tourist Council, and the sparkle-bop industry.

THIS is why I asked you to let me review and send the answers on your behalf, and now we’ve got to do damage control. I know you were hoping to spend the next couple of months with the new recruits, but you got yourself into this and I’m going to do my best to get you out of it. You’re going on HoloNet _News at Thirty_ tomorrow to clarify your comments, and we’ll get you on the weekend chat show circuit as well. Everyone of course wants to talk to you.

We’ll fix this, Luke, but work with me here.

Argh,  
Geoja

PS I will say good job on the second part of the girlfriend question—using “partner” is the best way to maintain the broadest support with your base.

~~

Dear Geoja,

The galaxy is crazy. A couple innocuous questions. Anyway, sorry to make your job harder. Next time you can clear them.

I can’t do the news tomorrow—it’s the twins’ birthday party. I can postpone my return to Yavin IV by a few days, but I need to be there by next week at the latest—I’ve been gone too long on NR business and it’s not good for the students.

May the Force be with you,  
Luke

~~

Luke:

This arrived today. Poor kid.

Nice job on _New Republic Now!_ yesterday. I love it when you stick to my talking points.

Cheers,  
Geoja

Dear Master Skywalker,

I’m so sorry that our newsletter interview is causing you so much trouble. I feel responsible because I let the _SpaceStars_ people use your answers on their program, and now mean people are saying horrible things about you.

Our members have been discussing this on our HoloNet board, and I think I’m going to resign because it’s not right for the President of An Official Luke Skywalker Fan Club to have such bad judgment and cause problems for the very being that we love and support. I just wanted to let you know. I’ll also tell Chief Jedi Liason Geoja Pruss so she can be in touch with whoever is voted to replace me.

I am so so so so so so sorry Luke! I hope you can forgive me and don’t blame all our members for my mistake. I apologize.

Love,  
D’tan Siro

Ps My parents suggested I donate the credits that _SpaceStars Today_ gave me for the interview to your favorite charity. If you have one, maybe let me know? Otherwise I will maybe give to the Tatooine Anti-Slavery Initiative? 

~~

Dear D’tan,

Thanks for your note. Don’t worry about the HoloGossip—half of everything they say about me isn’t true, so it was nice for once to have people talking about things I actually wrote (even if they were twisting most of it!). 

I hope you don’t resign—I think you’re a very good Fan Club President. I support you staying in your position—you can let your members know if that helps. Remember the old Jedi Code? “Chaos, yet harmony.” Things may seem crazy right now, but remember with all the outside stresses you can still find harmony inside yourself. Whether or not you feel the Force, _you_ can decide how to react.

Geoja told me you want to go to Theed University. Why don’t you save the credits from _SpaceStars_ for your college fund, and I’ll make the donation to the Tatooine Anti-Slavery Initiative on your behalf instead?

May the Force be with you,  
Luke

~~

Dear Chief Jedi Liaison Pruss,

We’d like to schedule an interview with your client Luke Skywalker to discuss rumors that he personally intervened to prevent the resignation of his embattled fan club president after the Jedi Code Scandal three weeks ago. Also if he could discuss any financial contributions he’s made to or on behalf of the fan club directly or through intermediaries and any personal relationship he has with Ms. D’tan Siro.

Could you please let us know when would be convenient for Mr. Skywalker?

Sincerely,  
Bili Ulun  
Associate Producer  
_SpaceStars Today_

~~

Dear Associate Producer Ulun,

Apologies, but Master Skywalker is unavailable for an interview due to previous commitments. Thank you for your inquiry.

Best regards,  
Geoja Pruss  
Chief Jedi Liaison, GELS

~~

Hey Luke,

What’s going on? I just heard on the HoloNet that you’re dating your fan club president? Crazy. Unless it’s true? As long as you’re happy, and as long as she’s legal, man.

Buy me a drink next time you’re on Coruscant.

Cheers,  
Wedge

~~

Hi Wedge, 

I swear, you’d think there wasn’t enough REAL news happening in the galaxy the way people make up this bantha shit. I’m not dating anyone. I _would_ be happy if everyone would just let me focus on rebuilding the Jedi and not invent scandals.

And I seem to remember that it’s your turn to buy the drinks, after I whipped your ass swoop racing on Endor last season.

Say hi to the Rogues for me.

Cheers,  
Luke

~~

Master Skywalker,

The Pandath branch of the NRSF just received this communique and wanted to bring it to your urgent attention.

Please comm us at your earliest opportunity.

Regards,  
Agent O’logo S’writturu Grax  
Chief, Hostage Recovery Division  
New Republic Security Forces Headquarters

JEDI LUKE SKYWALKER  
WE HAVE YOUR GIRLFRIEND. IF YOU WANT HER BACK ALIVE, YOU MUST PUBLICLY STATE YOUR WITHDRAWAL FROM NEW REPUBLIC POLITICS. THE JEDI ORDER KRIFFED UP THE OLD REPUBLIC AND ARE CERTAIN TO KRIFF UP THE NEW ONE. WE CALL FOR SEPARATION OF RELIGION AND GOVERNMENT. ANCIENT TRICKS AND MUMBO JUMBO HAVE NO PLACE IN THE GALAXY. IF YOU DO NOT MAKE THIS BROADCAST ANNOUNCEMENT WITHIN 46 STANDARD HOURS, YOU WILL NEVER SEE HER AGAIN.

FORMER REBELS AGAINST JEDI (FRAJ)

~~

Dear Leia,

I got your message. I’m on my way to Tanaab with Kam to meet with the NRSF branch there. Don’t get me started—it’s all preposterous. Anyway, tell Han it’s fine, I’ll call him if I need reinforcements, but I think the hostage extraction team that was sent from Coruscant will be enough on-the-ground support for the moment. 

Love,  
Luke

PS Tell Mon Mothma I appreciated her public remarks and hope they’ll encourage someone with info to step forward

PPS Stop worrying so much, don’t forget the kids can sense it

~~

Dear Master Skywalker,

My wife and I wanted to write to you personally to thank you and Mr. Solusar for rescuing our daughter from FRAJ. We regret that since contacting you, it seems that our family has caused a great deal of trouble in your life, but it was wonderful to see that the tales of your heroism and kindness have not been exaggerated or complete lies like all the negative stories about you.

It meant so much to D’tan that you waited two days for her release from the medcenter so she could accompany you to the Jedi Chapter House. 

Also, we’ve discussed it and decided that we will wait to inform her that she is Force sensitive until she graduates from her college preparatory next summer. We think at this time, it would be too distracting for her (as you can imagine, it’s been quite a year!), and only cause more problems for your reputation. Then she can decide for herself where to study (although we’re pretty sure already how that’s going to go!).

The NRSF told us they will have a shadow security detail in place for the next few months, and we don’t know if you had anything to do with that, but thank you regardless.

If there is ever anything we can do to repay you, please let us know. 

Warmest regards, and may the Force be with you always,  
Tan’D and Sumik Siro

~~

Dear D’tan,

It was great to get your comm message. And yes, it’s true, you can come to the Academy if you are ready to commit to learning the ways of the Force. I agree it’s probably best to let someone else take over the fan club—you’ll be too busy becoming a Jedi to answer all the holomail.

Kam is going to be around Tanaab next month and can pick you up on his way back to Yavin IV.

Cheers,  
Master Skywalker

~~

Dear Chief Jedi Liasion Pruss,

We would like to request an interview with D’tan Siro, the newest student at the Jedi Academy. Topics to be covered will include how she was recruited and her history as the president of her Jedi Master’s fan club, as well as addressing accusations of favoritism and corruption related to her enrollment. 

Thank you as always.  
Bili Ulun  
Senior Producer  
_SpaceStars Today_

~~

Dear Senior Producer Ulun,

Apologies, but Apprentice Siro is unavailable for an interview due to ongoing commitments. Thank you for your inquiry.

Best regards,  
Geoja Pruss  
Chief Jedi Liaison, GELS

~~

Greetings Master Skywalker,

I hope the negotiations are going well. 

Just a quick update—Rianna Saren was incredibly helpful, as you knew she would be. She spent the last week helping me learn to read Twi’lek story chains that had been left by Rebels right here in our warehouse during the war. One of them was from a woman you rescued shortly before the Battle of Endor and well…Saren is going to return it to her so its memories remain private.

Regarding our last conversation…don’t worry about D’tan. She’s doing great and everyone loves her. She’s a bit smitten with Streen, actually, but of course, like all of us, she misses you.

May the Force be with you,  
Tionne

~~

Dear Tionne,

Thanks for the update. I’m lucky you and Saren don’t work for _SpaceStars._

Cheers,  
Luke

~~

Dear Members,

As you all know, our former president D’tan Siro is about to graduate from the Jedi Praxeum. She contacted us personally (!) to say that eight lucky fan club members would be her guests at the Knighting Ceremony to be held in three standard months time on Yavin IV! To enter, please send your name (please include both local language and Aurebesh pronunciation) and contact information to the Fan Club holomail with the subject: _Knighting Ceremony Raffle_ and we will announce the winners in two standard weeks.

Each prize package includes:  
• Transportation, lodging and accommodations for the winner and ONE guest to Yavin IV with two standard nights staying IN THE JEDI ACADEMY BUILDING  
• A reception with all the Jedi students  
• A holo with Master Luke Skywalker and Jedi Knight D’tan  
• Reserved seating at the Knighting Ceremony

See the last page of the newsletter for the rules of entry and deadline!

May the Force be with you,  
Bowwee Nu-tab  
President (elected)  
An Official Luke Skywalker Fan Club  
Tafanda Bay Headquarters (2,403 chapters)

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[podfic] Fan Mail](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22261963) by [lilypods (atamascolily)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/atamascolily/pseuds/lilypods)


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